


Saeyoung Angst

by TCIsBestPony



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 15:27:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14115321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TCIsBestPony/pseuds/TCIsBestPony
Summary: A two chapter piece of exploring the MC's anxieties.





	1. Chapter 1

MC POV  
I flopped hard onto mine and Saeyoung’s bed as soon as I was physically able to. My whole body ached from the day I had endured; lots of running around, lifting heavy stock, answering questions that had obvious answers to them, but the thought of coming home to enjoy my few days off with the love of my life definitely pushed me through my difficult day. He’d promised to take me and Saeran out tomorrow for lunch and ice cream, something I could tell Saeran was particularly looking forward to, but I was just happy to have some time off from work to spend with him. We had both been incredibly busy, the past few weeks had been long without much personal time, but we had agreed to have the next few days off to recover. And ever since we all agreed to that, I had been looking forward to nothing else.  
When my phone beeped, I moaned in irritation. Who was emailing me? Why? Why now? I was on my bed and had only been there for a few seconds. Couldn’t they have waited just a few minutes before sending it? It was typical.   
Heaving my body up, I pulled my phone out and opened the email. I guessed the sooner I found out who sent it, the sooner I could relax. As my eyes drifted over the words lit up on the screen, my heart dropped. I knew I’d had one difficult customer I personally dealt with, but I had no idea they had decided to put in a complaint about me. I mean, I was lucky to have some amazing managers that weren’t blaming me for the complaint, they were just informing me about it since it was ‘protocol’ to explain ‘where I might have gone wrong’, but it still hurt. Of course it did, someone had gone to my managers and told me I was a terrible and extremely rude worker.  
My mood dropped dramatically as I pocketed my phone and curled up on the bed. I could feel my anxiety beginning to rise in my chest and my mind began to wander. Had I done something really wrong? Could I have handled that customer better? Did my managers secretly think I was a bad employee? Was I really good enough for the job?   
“Hey…you ok?” I heard Saeran ask as he passed my bedroom door.  
God bless, Saeran, he had been living with us for a long time now and he knew when I was starting to let my anxieties get the better of me. He was faster than Saeyoung, but I guessed that was because he’s felt worse things before and knew what to look for. He was still settling into his new environment, but our relationship was constantly growing, something I cherished deeply.  
“…no” I said truthfully.  
“…he’s in his computer room” was all he said before continuing his way down the hallway.  
Since he knew what to look for with anxiety, Saeran had also learned how to help me. He knew Saeyoung was the best person to distract me, and yeah that’s what I needed, a distraction. So, I sat up and slumped my way to Saeyoung’s computer room.  
As I stood outside the door, I could hear him frantically typing away. He was always so busy…would he at least stop long enough to take my mind off that email? Before I could spiral anymore, I quickly opened the door. He loved me, even if he still had to work, he never minded me watching him from his lap.  
“Saeyoung?” I asked, creeping round the door.  
No answer, just his continual typing filled the room. I hesitated slightly before pushing again.  
“…Saeyoung?” I asked again, moving closer to him.  
“Sorry, busy” he finally spoke.   
I could see that clearly, and I did feel exceedingly guilty asking for his attention when he was so desperate to finish work for our days off together, but I needed him. I began to feel the tears stinging behind my eyes and my mind wandered around the intrusive thoughts. ‘He’s not busy he just doesn’t want to see you’, ‘why bother?’ and ‘he hates you just admit it’ swam round and round. I swallowed hard and pushed through them and walked over to him so I was standing next to his chair.  
“Saeyoung, I’m sorry but I had an email…a customer complained about me and I...” the words spilled from my lips, but how he reacted made my world come crashing down.  
“So? You can see I’m busy, trying to get this finished so we can relax tomorrow and yet you’re still wanting attention from me!” he said, finally turning to face me “You get one complaint and this happens? If I don’t get this done right who knows what could happen! Do you see me crying when something small and insignificant comes my way?”  
Why was he reacting this way? He never spoke to me like that, never, so why now? My logical mind would say he was only stressed, worked to the bone and just frustrated with this particular project. However, my logical mind was so far away that thought didn’t even scratch the surface. Instead, the tears poured from my eyes and I quickly ran out of the room, leaving Saeyoung to himself.

Saeyoung POV  
What the hell had I just done? Seriously, what the actually hell? Why? Why had I done that? I knew this hack was difficult and delicate, causing my mind to stress a little more than usual, but I had never, never spoken to my love like that. My heart sank as soon as the words had left my mouth and she had ran from the room. I was the worst…the actual worst human being on the planet. I didn’t deserve her, I truly didn’t.  
“You are” Saeran said, leaning against the door frame “I know what you’re thinking and you are”  
“I didn’t…I didn’t mean it…” I muttered, unable to move my body to chase after her until I heard the front door open and slam closed “Shit!”  
No. No no no no she can’t have left the house like that! Not in that mind set!  
I was up like a shot, chasing after her, but she was gone, long gone.   
No. Fuck!


	2. Chapter 2

707: I’ve screwed up…  
Yoosung: What’s happened?  
707: …hard to explain but just know I’ve screwed up, big time  
Saeran: Shouldn’t you be out looking for her rather than crying on here?  
Jaehee: has MC gone missing? Saeyoung, what’s happened?!  
Yoosung: SHE’S WHAT?!  
707: She ran off when I yelled at her…  
Jaehee: that seems very irrational of her  
Saeran: she was on the edge of an anxiety attack  
Yoosung: Oh you idiot!  
707: … I know I’m the worst  
Saeran: if you see her, please get her indoors, it’s meant to rain soon and knowing the way she is she will want to stay out in the rain  
Jaehee: I will help you look for her! I’ll make sure Mr Han knows of this  
Yoosung: and me! I’ll ring Zen and tell him too  
707:…thank you

MC POV  
I wasn’t sure how long I had been sat there, and, truthfully, I didn’t care. Saeyoung didn’t care about me anymore. What was the point of anything if he didn’t love me? I’d messed up at work and now the love of my life hated me. Nothing mattered anymore to me. When I felt the rain fall onto my cheek, the tears began to flow and I couldn’t stop them. I was the worst fiancé ever. What had I done to ever deserve him? I hated myself…no, I loathed myself and this rain was my punishment.  
Soaking wet, I curled up on the doorstep as I waited for the guy I thought would understand. I loved everyone in the RFA, and I knew Saeran understood my worries, but he’d be with Saeyoung and I didn’t deserve to see him anymore. Yoosung would just keep repeating things that I didn’t believe, Jumin would plonk Elly on my lap and hope for the best and Jaehee would contact Saeyoung within seconds. No, right now Zen was my best option.  
The rain began to pour as I finally saw Zen approaching his front door.  
“…what the…oh my God are you ok?!” he shouted, rushing to my side, kneeling next to me. His fingers touched my cheek ever so gently before he swiftly removed his jacket to drape over my shoulders “You’re freezing, come on, inside and you can tell me everything” he said, opening the door and lifted me into his arms to bring my inside.  
The warmth of his apartment hit me like a wave, was it really that cold outside? Meh, whatever, like it really mattered. Zen carefully placed me onto his sofa and knelt in front of me, handing me a tissue to dry my eyes. Didn’t do much as the tears kept coming.  
“How long were you out there for?” he asked, and when I didn’t answer he realised that there something really wrong. He quickly reached for his phone and I grabbed his wrist.  
“Don’t…don’t get Saeyoung…I don’t deserve him” I whispered, sniffing.  
“You don’t deserve him? Oh no no, ok right, you need a bath, a hot one, and some tea, or hot chocolate” he said, frantically trying to work out what to do. My grip on his wrist didn’t loosen until he stopped and looked me in the eye, smiling oh so kindly “I won’t text him, I promise, not until I’ve taken care of you”  
My fingers slipped from his arm, I knew he was the one to come to. Even though my mind was telling me to stay away from anyone I knew, that the rain and cold was all I deserved for what I had done, I’m glad I didn’t, Zen’s kindness was what I needed. Maybe not what I felt like I deserved, but yeah, I needed it.  
After lying on his sofa for a little while, the tears crawling to a stop, Zen came back and placed a hand on my head.  
“The bath is ready, are you going to be ok getting in and out by yourself? Or do you want some help? I swear I won’t look at anything if you do” he asked.  
I wasn’t sure. I mean, I could easily get myself into a bath and out again, dress and undress and the rest, but it was more would I be able to do that without stopping? I imagined myself just standing there letting my mind wander, or even while I sat in the tub. I must have sat in silence for too long because Zen spoke before I could answer.  
“I’ll help” he said, taking my hand and pulling me to the bathroom.  
True to his word, and being the gentleman he was, Zen didn’t look. He helped when he could and once I was in the bath he sat with his back to me and just talked about his day. His rambles about rehearsals were surprisingly calming, and distracting. The bath helped a little too, and before long Zen was helping me out and dressed me before taking me back to the sofa.  
With a cup of hot chocolate, he had decided that the sugar would help, and a biscuit, I curled up under a blanket and slowly fell asleep. My mind was calm, the intrusive thoughts had exhausted themselves and I physically couldn’t cry anymore. It was bliss. It was heaven. And finally I could let my body rest.

Zen: Saeyoung, I don’t know what’s happened, but your fiancé is on my sofa, she’s ok but I think she really needs you  
Saeyoung: thank God! I’m on my way!

Saeyoung POV  
“Promise me, promise me this won’t happen again!” Zen yelled at me from the kitchen as Saeran sat in the living room.  
“I promise, I know I’ve screwed up, I shouldn’t have even thought what I had said to her” I said, hanging my head low.  
“She loves and adores you, almost worships the ground you walk on, it’s no wonder your words hit her the hardest” Zen said before sighing, running his hands through his hair “take her home, treat her like a princess, and if you don’t you’ll be answering to me, got it?!”  
“Yes, loud and clear” I said “Thank you for what you’ve done for her, I owe you so much”   
“Yeah, you do” he said simply.  
I carried her home the entire way. I’d driven there since it was the fastest mode of transport, but I let Saeran drive us back, just so I could hold her on the back seat while she slept. She’d always told me that once she had fallen asleep she was past the worst, so I knew as soon as she woke up she needed to feel as much love as humanly possible. So, on the way back we picked up her favourite ice cream, a plan already in my head.  
Leaving her to my brother for a few minutes, I built a blanket and pillow fort on our bed as best as I could. Armed with the fairy lights we use at Christmas, I decorated our room to light it to a reasonable degree so we could see under the blankets. I carefully placed her inside as Saeran watched then handed me the ice cream tub with two spoons. Usually we all shared a tub, but, thankfully, he knew this was a time for just the two of us.  
My hand moved on its own as I gently tucked a bit of hair behind her ear that had fallen onto her face. She was so beautiful. Oh so beautiful and she had agreed to be my wife soon…and yet I had spoken to her like that. No, from now on that would never happen again, never. I had to make sure of that. We’d work out a plan so we could be aware of each-others mental status, or something. We’d figure something out.  
I sighed and waited patiently for her to wake.

MC POV  
When my eyes fluttered open, all I saw was Saeyoung…well, him and a tub of my favourite ice cream. He smiled kindly at me, offering me a spoon before speaking.  
“I know you probably won’t forgive me, but I’m sorry my love, I am so so sorry for speaking to you like that” he said, his eyes brimming with tears “I love you more than anything and I shouldn’t have said those things, but please, don’t ever think that I don’t love you, or want you, or need you because I do, I always will and…” he didn’t need to talk anymore.   
I threw my arms around him, not caring about the ice cream. Just hearing those three words coming from him in the most sincere way was all that mattered. He’d proved my anxiety wrong, he did love me, even though he yelled at me he loved me, cared about me. My mind was wrong and as long as he was there to disprove it, that’s all I needed.

Saeran POV  
They had been laid in that fort for hours, and I knew that ice cream hadn’t been eaten. What a waste of good ice cream…oh well. I smiled ever so slightly as they just hugged each other. They never fought, they only always forgave. Their hearts were so big, big enough to let me into their lives without hesitation. Even though they might not believe it from time to time, they definitely were a match made in heaven and I was going to make it my job to ensure that that wasn’t disrupted in any way shape or form. I had to protect them, and I was more than happy to. I just…wouldn’t admit it.


End file.
